48 Hours of Nudity and Off-Width

by Dan McKeon (VJ#4)

Alpine climbing makes you take advantage of rights not enjoyed by the average citizen. Say you've just finished the north face of the Grand Teton and are recovering at a restaurant in Jackson. No one can stop you from lounging in your rotting underwear while you pick your blisters at the dinner table. Leave the dead skin you've peeled off your heels on the dinner plate and be as vulgar as you want when you describe the rockfall. When the tourist family from Ohio looks at you with disgust just say, "listen, I'm a climber." They probably won't understand, but who cares? You've just climbed the north face of the mountain they've been taking pictures of from the road. They were buying t-shirts in Jackson while you were dodging rocks on lead. They stayed in a hotel and slept till ten while you started hiking at 3 a.m. You have every right to pick your heels, so go ahead.